What They Don't Tell You About Having a Baby

Having a baby is the most traumatizing experience to happen in my life. And it wasn't even just the labor/delivery part!

Of course I love my son and I would do it all again. With that being said though, What in the actual eff did I get myself into when I decided I wanted a baby?

When I found out I was pregnant, I ofcourse was worried about the few things I believe most women worry over. 

1. When will my water break?!
2. What will the labor pains be like?
3. How will I get to the hospital?

Nine months of worrying how bad it would hurt and when my water would break. Would I be in public? Sleeping? Would I be driving somewhere? So many scenarios went through my head for those 40 weeks.

And then at my 40 week appt I heard my doctor say one of the two words I was dreading.

Induce

(The other word being: C-Section)

My appointment was on Thursday and she wanted to induce me on SATURDAY! When I said to her "you mean the day after tomorrow? That's really soon" her response was "well you should be ready for it to happen any day now"

Well yes I was "ready" but are you ever really ready? There is also a difference between being ready to go into labor naturally and having to go to a hospital and be induced.

Also this maybe one of 3 appointments my boyfriend missed. So naturally I told my doctor I had to speak with him before I made such a huge decision. 

She said "well fine, go talk to who you need to, but call us for the information about being induced before we close today. I don't do inductions on Mondays or Tuesdays and Wednesday is for my other patients and I'm leaving for Raleigh on Thursday."

So not only do I feel violated every time I go see my OB (dilation checks which I wasn't allowed to refuse), now my pregnancy is an inconvenience to her schedule.

I ended up declining the induction and making an appointment for Monday for a check (*cringe*) and a sonogram. 

At the visit my OB again pushed an induction so my boyfriend asked her if it was medically necessary and if the baby was in distress. The Dr advised us that the amniotic fluid around baby was low and that it was concerning. 

So we succumbed to defeat and scheduled the induction for the next day. And if I thought weekly checks at the on office was bad. Boy was I in for a rude (and violating) awaking. 

So the labor started out easy but by Wed afternoon at only 1.5cm dialted, I couldn't breath. The waves of contractions felt endless. One nurse had come into my room just before this and bumped the pitocin up ALOT. Another nurse came in 5 mins later and says it was up to high. (Make up your mind people!)

Doctors and nurses were in and out of my room all day, everyday for the duration of my torture. They all seemed like they didn't really care until we found our angel, Nurse Lisa.

Nurse Lisa arrived Wednesday at 3pm for her 12hr shift. Never did we expect to get a nurse that would stay by my side whenever I rang for 12 full hours but she did. And I rang ALOT! Because even With the epidural I wasn't comfortable.

So finally I'm 10cm dilated! 🎊🎉🎉🎊 we celebrate and are now on to the really hard part. 

The resident doc says she has to call my OB (Oh joy! *note sarcasm). Now I'm ready to go and have to wait 30mins for my doctor to arrive. 

When she finally DOES arrive and I start pushing (or at least what I thought was pushing). After about 20 mins my doctor takes off her gloves and says "call when something happens". And she walks out!

I was shocked! Nurse Lisa wasn't worried though. She told me it was better that the doctor wasn't there. (She apparently tells stories of her grandchildren, like I care!)

About an hour or 2 of pushing go by and I can't push anymore (my lil guy was obviously not ready to come into this word yet), the doctor offers to use a vacuum. Claiming that with two more pushes my baby boy will be out. (Two pushes my ass! Ha! Try 20!)

Finally at 12:01am on Thursday March 29th my baby boy came into the world. And has swallowed his poop (Oh boy!). 

So here is a list of things I wanted that I didn't get (all of which I made known and the doctor as well as hospital say they do): 

1. Immediate skin to skin

2. Immediate latch to breast

3. Delayed cord clamping

(A small list but an important one)

So lil one is being tended to by the Peditrician and my boyfriend is with him. While I'm still spread eagle with all the world to see. 

Now it's time to get sewn up (Oh and I forgot to mention, my epidural was turned off while pushing. So now I feel EVERYTHING), the nurse asks the doctor about the tear. Doctor says "yes tear 2nd degree" (I think she said that)(I find out later I was given an eposiotmy without my knowledge or consent 😡)

My doctor, who has been a doctor for over 20 years lets the RESIDENT sew my vagina back together. So this takes like 30 mins because she had no idea what she was doing. And I'm told "let us know if it hurts" my reply "ow ow ow OW!" my doctor proceeds to tell me "oh well I guess the lidocaine won't work in that spot, sorry." *shrugs*

Now the pediatrician is telling me about the baby, everything I already overheard him tell my boyfriend. They are taking him to the nursery to observe for a while because he swallowed meconium (the reason i didnt get my list, supposedly) my doctor's reply "well that's what happens when you wait 41 weeks to have your baby" 😤

So I get to hold my son for 10 mins before they take him away to the nursery. And I of course ball my eyes out in relief that it is finally over. 

(Don't get my wrong I love my son with all my heart, but it took a few hours to grow on me) 

At 3 o clock on Thursday morning, Nurse Lisa rolled us into our room in the postnatal department. Finally! Peace and Quiet.....or so we thought. 

*spoiler alert it wasn't the baby who didnt give us peace*